“The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight” -Joseph Campbell
I have always loved road trips, so when a friend suggested the Grand Canyon, I asked for five days off work and started planning our trip. Alright fine, I didn’t do any planning but I did get the days off. After a series of events, all four people canceled and due to my stubborn nature I decided to carry on. I bought snacks and water, took a tent and was off on an eight hour drive to a different State. Most people would have stopped after a few set backs and would see them as signs that they should turn back and abandon this trip. I think at any other point in my life I would have done the same, especially when I locked my keys in my car when I stopped for gas a couple hours into the drive, or when the check engine light turned on after four hours of driving, or when camp sites were all full and I had to sleep in my car. Something urged me to keep going and I am glad I did because what I found was much more than the one of the seven natural wonders of the world. I found a strange sensation within me when I was alone for so long, three days with minimal contact with people. I was alone with my thoughts and I had to face them, the good and the bad ones. I had to come to terms with my problems and had to make a conscious decision to either face them head on or go back to the false comforts that I had created for myself. Usually when I thought of a weakness I would quickly dismiss it with a strength and that would be the end of it. I would never delve deep enough to figure out ways that I could better myself in order to deal with my problems. After three days of sleeping in my car and exploring hikes on the grand canyon, I decided to end my trip earlier and return home to enjoy some horizontal sleeping on my bed for once. Only after when I started telling my story to people I realized that I was not afraid to admit my weaknesses. I was not afraid to admit that I was scared of the dark when I went out at night to relieve myself or that I felt lonely at times and wished for some company. I was comfortable enough to admit these things where as before I had this idea that “I can not let others know my weaknesses” plaque my mind and in doing so unintentionally ostracized myself from the people around me. To my surprise all of a sudden people connected with me more and they didn’t think any less of me, on the contrary they respected me more. Most likely this was because they themselves had experienced fear and loneliness at some point or another in their lives but when they heard me talking about mine and so readily admitting to them, they perceived someone who has conquered those fears. In a way I had because I was able to go on a trip by myself and enjoy it at the same time. In the social circles that I grew up in, that is very uncommon. People do things alone if they have to but not many would CHOOSE to go through such an experience alone. Even now I hear a lot of people talking about getting married having better friends or making better connections and its great to have those things but people talk as if they need to have it. This need in itself could be a barrier to achieving those things, if that is truly what you wish for. There are many other aspects of life that this comes into play, a popular one is trying to force yourself to fall asleep. It just simply wont work, the more you mentally exert yourself to try and sleep the more awake you will become. Another less know but more common one is stressing over stress, if you have a lot of stress in your life and you try really hard to not stress about it and you are constantly thinking of ways to stop stressing and it is always a topic of thought for you; you have only accumulated more stress into your life. Depending on your mental state, solitude can be a prison or a source of liberation. Make solitude your friend and you will be surprised by how many people will seek your company for it.
P.S. The first time I got to the view point of the grand canyon, it was almost dark and I went to the edge and was just astounded. I felt my insignificance, small, irrelevant, almost as if I did not exist. The odd thing was that I feel at peace at the same time, because it put my life into perspective and compared to this vastness, I was nothing and so were my problems. I forgot about all my worries and was lost in deep thought and appreciation for this wonder. It was a short lived moment but it was a moment of clarity and tranquility that I will never forget.
Rome to Tabriz 